[学生习作A]
My hobby is read books①。When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good s even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.
①改为reading books，动词作表语时应该用动名词。
②also的位置应放在can之后。
[点评]：档次9-11分。
①要点不全，漏掉最后一个要点。
②句子基本无误，能正确传递信息给读者但文章不流畅，句子与句子之间过渡不自然，给读者感觉在回答上述问题。
③有少量错误。
[学生习作B]
My hobby is ing books is very I was young ，my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t I began to read books by le by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the I read books，I can enjoy the beautiful the same time I can improve my writing.I want to be a writer in the future，so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.
①开门见山、点题。
②真情流露，理由充分。
③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当，使文章过渡自然、
④巧妙使用句型以表决心。
[点评]：档次13-14分。
①清楚表达写作目的，要点齐全。
②语言表达灵活多样，字里行间流露出真情实感，文章有感染力。
③恰当使用连词和从句，语言流畅，且无错误，是一篇高质量的作文。