"Ah!Such a fantastic dream!"I stretched with relaxation and opened my sleepy eyes.I gazed out of my window and my eyes widened.I was mesmerised by the scenery that I sun slowly climed up the mysterious forest,sprinkling golden dust onto the humongous e was a sense of excitement in my heart.I jumped out of my bed with jubilance and wore my adventure suit that my mother specially made for out further a do,I dashed out of my house. I took a big refreshing air rushed into my lungs and brigtened up my drowsy face.I skedaddled into the greeny forest."Oh my..."I was enraptured by the fascinating e were flamboyant birds chirping towards each other on the branches of the trees of the birds was showing off its brilliant feather coat like a popular other birds were not losing to that little bird!They flapped their colourful wings to dominate ‘the king of the birds’!I was laughing vigorously when they almost fought with one another. I was ambling relaxingly on the pebble winding road,looking at the beauty of the gigantic trees were the guardians of the new vines were crawling on those trees,just like green clothes. Out of the blue,a lamentable little duckling came into my slipped and fell onto the ground e were doleful tears in its beady little eyes."Poor thing!"I picked up the duckling gently and gave a tap on its duckling seemed to be smiling at me with amusement in its eyes."Tap tap..."There was a sound coming from my feet.I jumped up in horror and yelled."Ah!"I calmed myself down and realised it was a mother duck!I contemplated into the duckling in my arms and knew everything.I put down the duckling besides the mother duck and they seemed to be hugging each heart bloomed with euphoria and I felt I was in cloud-nine."Such a heart-warming scene!"The ducks sauntered slowly into a meandered little duckling turned around and waved at me before it wandered into the river. I was exhausted from the adventure and l lied on the grass and it was like a fluffy ,I fell in to my the hug of spring...
修改后：
"Ah!What a fantastic dream!" I stretched my body and opened my sleepy eyes. I looked out of window andopened my eyes wider. I was shocked by the scenery that I saw. The sun slowly climed up the mysterious forest, sprinkling golden dust onto the trees. I was getting excited. I jumped out of my bed and put on my outdoor clothing which my mother bought for me. Without any hesitation, I dashed out of my room. I took a deep breath. The fresh air rushed into my lungs and brigtened up my drowsy face. I ran into the forest."Oh my..." I was fascinated by the fancy birds chirped towards each other on the branches of the trees happily. One of the birds was showing off its brilliant feather coat like a popular star. The other birds didn't want to lose, either. They flapped their colourful wings. I burst into laughter when they almost fought with each other. I was wandering on the pebble road, enjoying the beauty of the nature. The big trees were the guardians of the nature. Suddenly, a little duckling came into my sight. It slipped and fell onto the ground heavily. "Poor thing!" I picked it up gently and patted on its head. The duckling seemed to smile at me. "Pat pat..." There was a sound coming near my feet. I jumped up and yelled. "Ah!" I calmed myself down and realised it was a mother duck! Then I put the duckling besides the mother duck and they seemed to hug each other. "What a heart-warming scene!" I thought. The ducks walked slowly into a river. The little duckling turned around and waved at me. I felt a little tired and l lay on the grass to have a rest. It was very soft, soon, I fell into my the hug of spring...
修改老师：Crystal 老师
初一:顾健荣